Alright, let’s talk about them short short shorts, you know, the ones the young girls like to wear these days. I ain’t no fashion expert, mind you, but I’ve seen enough clothes in my day to know a thing or two.
Now, finding the right shorts, that’s like finding a good watermelon in a whole field – gotta look close! They say you gotta think about your body shape. Sounds fancy, but it just means, if you’re a bit, you know, round like me, maybe them super tight, low-rise ones ain’t the best. They’ll cut ya in half, make ya look like a sausage tied in the middle!
- Them low-rise shorts, they make your legs look shorter, see? But they do make your belly look longer, if you’re into that. It’s like a seesaw – one goes up, the other goes down. And everyone’s gonna be lookin’ at your middle, ’cause that’s where the shorts cut across.
- And them big, baggy shorts? No, no, no. You’ll look like you’re wearin’ your grandpa’s old pants. Stick to somethin’ that fits, not too tight, not too loose, just right. Like Goldilocks and the three bears, you know?
- If you’re kinda small, like a little bird, maybe try shorts that go just above your knee. It makes you look, well, balanced, I guess. Not too much leg, not too little. Just right.
- And if you wanna hide a bit more, those longer shorts, they call ’em Bermuda shorts, those are good too. Covers more, you know? Makes ya look a bit, um, fuller, I guess. Not so skinny.
But listen here, the most important thing ain’t what nobody else thinks, it’s what you feel good in. If you wanna wear them short short shorts, and you feel like a queen, then you go right ahead! Don’t let nobody tell you different. Life’s too short to be worryin’ about what other folks think. You hear me?
But, and this is a big but, you gotta be practical too. If you’re gonna be bendin’ over, pickin’ beans, or chasin’ chickens, maybe them short shorts ain’t the best idea. You’ll be showin’ the whole world more than they need to see, you know what I mean? And nobody wants that.
I remember this one time, my niece, bless her heart, she wore these tiny little shorts to the county fair. Well, she bent over to pick up a dropped funnel cake, and let me tell you, the whole darn fair saw more than they bargained for! Poor thing was redder than a beet! So, you gotta think about what you’re gonna be doin’. That’s just common sense.
And another thing, them short short shorts, they don’t leave much room for pockets! Where you gonna put your keys? Your money? Your phone, if you got one of them fancy things. You’ll be walkin’ around with your hands full, like you’re carryin’ watermelons all day. Not practical at all.
So, my advice? Find somethin’ that fits, somethin’ that’s comfortable, somethin’ that lets you move around without worryin’ about showin’ your, you know… And somethin’ with pockets! Pockets are a girl’s best friend, let me tell you. You can keep all sorts of things in there, and nobody’s the wiser.
But hey, at the end of the day, it’s your body, your shorts, your choice. You wanna wear them short short shorts, go for it! Just make sure you can bend over without causin’ a scene, alright? That’s all I’m sayin’. And remember, comfort is king…or queen, in this case!
And one last thing, make sure you wash them shorts good! Ain’t nothin’ worse than dirty shorts, you know? Especially them short short ones… People notice, trust me. So, keep ’em clean, keep ’em comfy, and you’ll be good to go. Now, go on and find yourself some shorts that make you feel like a million bucks, even if they don’t cost that much!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my biscuits. Don’t want ’em burnin’ like my neighbor’s barn did last summer, and that wasn’t pretty, I tell you! It was hotter than a pepper sprout in July, and them flames just went every which way, like a chicken with its head cut off!
Tags: [shorts, fashion, summer, style, clothing, body shape, comfort, practical, tips, women]
