Well, let me tell you, these days, what them young folks wear, it just ain’t right. They call it a vaginadress. Now, what in tarnation is that? Sounds like somethin’ you’d hear at the doctor’s, not see on the red carpet. But these youngins, they wear it proud. It’s a dress, they say, with a slit. Sometimes one, sometimes who knows! Shows a lot of leg, that’s for sure.
Back in my day, we had dresses. Good, honest dresses that covered you up. You wouldn’t catch us showing off all our bits and pieces. A little ankle maybe, on a Sunday. But these vaginadress things? Lord have mercy.
They say it’s all about empowerment. Women’s empowerment, they call it. Sounds like a fancy word for showin’ off your… well, you know. And they talk about this… sus-tain-a-bility. Like that has anything to do with how much skin you’re showing. They say these fancy folks, they get people from far away, like Uru-somethin’ and Bolivia, to make these dresses. Don’t make no sense to me. We used to make our own clothes, right here at home.
- You got your sewing, where you cut up cloth and stitch it together.
- And then there’s knitting, where you use string, and somehow, it becomes a dress. Don’t ask me how, never did get the hang of it.
That’s how you make a dress. Not this vaginadress nonsense.
I seen one of them actresses, Gillian somebody, wearing one of these things. Red carpet, they said. All fancy and important. She was on that show, somethin’ about education. Now she’s wearin’ a dress that shows more than it hides. What are they teaching these kids nowadays?
They got all these fancy terms for it too. Design process. Mass production. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in a factory, not on a pretty lady. Back in my day, you wanted a dress, you went to the store, you picked one out, and you wore it. Simple as that.
And these young folks, they’re all about knowin’ things. Knowin’ about their… private parts. They got two names for it, even! Vulva and… that other word. Vagina. They say it’s important to know about your body. Well, I know about my body. I know it gets cold in the winter, and I know it likes a good piece of pie. That’s all I need to know.
This whole vaginadress thing, it’s just a sign of the times, I reckon. Everything’s changing so fast. Too fast, if you ask me. In my day, a dress was a dress. You wore it to church, you wore it to town, you wore it to a wedding. It was decent, and it was respectable. And the lady wore it well. That’s what people cared about. Not all this… whatever that is.
Nowadays it is all about looking snazzy. This vaginadress, they say it’s in. Everybody’s wearin’ it. Well, not me. You won’t catch me dead in one of those things. I’ll stick to my old dresses, thank you very much. They may not be fancy, but they’re comfortable, and they do the job.
These young people, with their fancy clothes and their fancy words, they think they know everything. But they don’t know nothin’ about real life. They don’t know about hard work, and they don’t know about respect. And they sure as heck don’t know how to dress properly.
I swear, the world’s goin’ crazy. Vaginadress. What’s next? I don’t even want to know. All I know is, I’m glad I grew up when I did. When things were simpler. When a dress was just a dress, and not some kind of… statement.
It just ain’t right. It ain’t natural. You got your dresses that you wear, and you got your… other parts. And never the twain shall meet. That’s what I say. This vaginadress thing is just a fad. It’ll pass. Like everything else. Then they will learn how to dress up.
But these days, you just gotta shake your head and hope for the best. Hope that these young folks will figure it out eventually. Hope that they’ll learn that there’s more to life than showin’ off your body and wearin’ a vaginadress.
That’s all I got to say about that. Now, where’s my knitting needles? I got a blanket to finish, and it sure ain’t gonna knit itself. And it sure as heck ain’t gonna have no slit down the front. And it most certainly won’t be called no vaginadress.
